VHS Verve: Alvin & The Chipmunks - Theodore's Life as a Dog

"Simon and Theodore convince Alvin that he's caused Theodore to turn into a dog!"

I probably should take a look at "Theodore's Life as a Dog", the third and final episode on The Chipmunks "Cookie Chomper" VHS release, if for no other reason then in the interests of completism, although there's not nearly half as much that I can say about this one.  As I noted in my coverage of the title episode, this episode frankly feels a bit out of place on this release, showing up after two very earnest and ambitious "issue" episodes and offering purely farcical hijinks (nothing wrong with that in itself, of course, but there's a definite tonal dissonance).  I presume that the idea was to enable the VHS release to go out with something silly and lighthearted, just to reassure kids that life isn't all serious - the irony being that, of the three, this is the only episode to end on note that feels genuinely sour.  For all the hardship their plots entailed, "Cookie Chomper" and "The Wall" were both able to wrap up with messages that felt thoughtful, sincere and optimistic.  This episode revolves around Simon and Theodore playing a prank on Alvin in order to punish him for being a dick, only to become even bigger dicks in the process and with no real consequences for them.  The writing for the episode is actually very good, and I did find myself chuckling at quite a few points throughout, but in story terms this one leaves me feeling a bit off-colour.  There's a vindictive vibe here which at times skirts dangerously close to Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends levels of meanness.  Let's check it out.

The episode opens with the Sevilles watching a werewolf movie on TV.  The exchange we overhear between two characters in this flick is absolutely golden, so allow me to transcribe for you it in full:

Professor: It seems too fantastic to believe - your boyfriend, Reginald, a werewolf?

Woman: (Distraught) During a full moon, my boyfriend turns into a horrible, starving, deranged wolf and...devours people!

Professor: Are you still seeing him?

Theodore then attempts to sneak away and into the kitchen, but Dave spots him and reminds him that he made a promise not to snack in between meals.  He heads into the kitchen anyway and Simon suggests that the family's new box of cookies doesn't have long to live, but Dave isn't worried as he's made a point of positioning the cookies on a high shelf where Theodore will struggle to reach them.  Unfortunately, this just encourages dangerous and stupid behaviour from Theodore, who's stacked a bunch of boxes onto a stool and is at serious risk of breaking his neck, when Alvin comes in and offers to help by guiding Theodore on where to reach.  "What are brothers for?" he asks, innocently.  Theodore is relieved because he thinks he's in good hands with Alvin and that he won't report him to Dave, only to discover that Alvin has tricked him into picking up and consuming a dog biscuit.  (Side-note: "Theodore's Life as a Dog" first aired on 7th January 1989, and predates "Cookie Chomper", the episode where the Sevilles acquire their pet dog, Lilly, so I'm a bit unclear on why they'd have a box of dog biscuits stocked in their larder in the first place, but whatever).  Theodore isn't exactly an innocent here, since he's deliberately disobeying Dave's orders on no snacking between meals, but Alvin certainly exploited his brother's trust in a decidedly mean and unpleasant way, so he has our sympathies for now.  Theodore complains to Simon about Alvin's behaviour and finds that he, too, is fed up with Alvin's pranks.  Noting that there's a full moon tomorrow and that Dave will be at work all day, Simon concocts a fiendish revenge plot that Theodore is only too happy to go along with.

The following morning, Alvin is feeling particularly cocky because Dave's not around and, even though he's been left with a huge list of chores to get done throughout the day, he's confident that he can con his two stupid brothers into doing them for him.  He then notices that Theodore is down on all fours and slavering all over the breakfast table.  Simon convinces Alvin that, since he made him eat a dog biscuit just before a full moon, he's inflicted a terrible curse on Theodore which is gradually transforming him into a weredog.  Actually, given that Theodore technically isn't human in the first place, I'm not sure if the term "weredog" is totally apt, but what would be the appropriate equivalent for an anthropomorphic chipmunk transforming into a non-anthropomorphic dog?  Alvin is a tad freaked out, but still too much of a selfish little prick to care, until Simon points out that he might have a personal stake in this:

Simon: I don't envy you, Alvin.

Alvin: Me?  But it's Theodore who's cursed, not me!

Simon: Yeah, well, you're the one who'll have to explain this to Dave.  And when I tell him what's in store for poor Theodore...

Simon proposes to go away and do research into Theodore's condition, while Alvin gets saddled with the "cursed" Theodore all day.  We then get our musical number, "Life of a Dog", as Theodore trails Alvin around while his doing his chores and creates a nuisance with his canine-esque behaviour.  Actually, it's interesting just how committed Theodore is to the prank, to the extent that he's willing to utterly slaughter his dignity in public.  There's a scene where they're in a supermarket and Theodore is leaping up onto the trolley and continuing to slaver over everything, and to the crowd of understandably anxious onlookers it must look like Theodore is behaving like a total lunatic.  Theodore also terrorises a mailman, attempts to piss against a lamppost and picks a fight with a Shih Tzu belonging to a girl named Mary who Alvin has a crush on.  By the end of the day, Alvin has reached the end of his figurative tether, only for Simon to drop yet another bombshell - he's done some reading and discovered that, if the curse is not removed by midnight, Theodore's transformation into a dog will be complete and irreversible.  The good news is that he's also read up on a means by which the curse can be lifted, although it involves Alvin, being the one who inadvertently facilitated the curse, dressing up as a dog and performing an ancient ritual.

That night, Alvin dons a makeshift dog costume, which basically consists of putting socks over his hands and ears and strapping on a red nose, and Simon has him go out into the yard and recite an incantation which will supposedly restore Theodore to normal if said for one minute after midnight.  Now, I noted earlier that Theodore was initially the sympathetic party in this whole affair, but there comes a point with these kinds of pranks where one seriously risks crossing a line if they allow things to drag on for too long.  Simon and Theodore definitely cross that line when they lure a neighbour's dog out of its garden, so as to convince Alvin that his incantation has failed and that Theodore's transformation is complete, causing the dog in question to be let loose onto the streets and impounded.  Although Alvin does sneak into the pound and release the dog, we never find out if it was reunited with its rightful owner, and that certainly bothers me.  There's also the fact that they have their brother, who is, after all, only a child, endanger himself by wandering the streets after midnight in pursuit of this dog.  Alvin, who's still wearing his makeshift dog costume, ends up being impounded himself, but since he can talk, he's able to convince the dog warden to grant him one phone call.

Alvin is picked up by Dave, and nervously tries to explain to him what's become of Theodore, only for Theodore himself to pop up out of the backseat of the car with Simon, suddenly right as rain.  The penny finally drops for Alvin, who now has a murderous glint his eye.   I do kind of have to love Dave's reaction to the whole thing, being one of such total and utter confusion that he's not even willing to delve into what actually happened, although if anyone deserves to have the shit lectured out them right now for their ugly behaviour, it's Simon and Theodore.  As Dave drives them all home, Simon ridicules Alvin for being so dumb as to believe that Theodore had ever turned into a dog, only to notice that Theodore is now sleeping on the backseat and exhibiting the grunting and twitching mannerisms of a dog.  Guess he's now so accustomed to pretending that this behaviour has become ingrained.  Dun dun dun.

The VHS closes off with an appearance from our friend the DiC "Kid In Bed" logo, albeit a version that incorporates the series' closing theme and avoids that naughty-sounding word being spoken out loud.  It's still the most hideous thing on the tape, regardless.