Wednesday 12 July 2023

Lick It and Stick It: Stuff Not Appearing In This Factory

 

Let's talk about one of the most beguiling mysteries of the 2005 adaptation of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory - a small moment, excised from the theatrical cut, where Mike Teavee apparently succumbs to the temptation to indulge a sweet tooth that, so far as the rest of the film is concerned, he doesn't actually have. This would have occurred during the boat ride down the chocolate river, which carries the tour (minus the Gloops) from the Chocolate Room to the Inventing Room. The equivalent sequence in the 1971 adaptation is, indisputably, that picture's most infamous, for the real WTF moment where they go through the tunnel and the group is bombarded with a barrage of unsettling visual non-sequiturs - including, most disturbingly, footage of a chicken being decapitated. Minus this particular detail (not present in Dahl's novel), the 2005 film was always destined to seem a trifle tame by comparison (although it is still a discomforting sequence to watch, by virtue of just how genuinely stressed out most of the passengers look during the ride's more turbulent stretches) but it did offer up something that was, in its own way, just as baffling, albeit much lower-key in nature. It seems that originally, as the Buckets were taking their seats, there was a moment where Wonka catches Mike licking the side of the boat and tells him to stop on the grounds that he'll make it sticky. While this didn't see the light of day in the cut that ultimately made it to cinemas, it was included in one of the film's TV spots, preserving Mike's moment of personal compromise for all eternity. He got down on his hands and put his tongue to the sugar-coated enticements that surrounded him. No, Mike '05, no, you're better than that. After I exalted you for your steadfast non-comformity in not buying into this entire notion that the consumption of candy is the one and only path to righteousness, you just had to sneakily submit and see what all the fuss was about? One solitary instance of ephemeral capitulation - alright, I guess we can overlook that.


Mike's boat-licking practices might not seem quite so perplexing when you consider that this specific action was lifted directly from Dahl's novel, as was Wonka's response. But then book Mike never assumed such an outspoken stance against Wonka's product, and he had more of an impulsive, hyperactive personality all-round, something that Mike '05 typically only demonstrates when he gets really heated. Here, it seems an oddly out of character moment to have ever incorporated. On the one hand, it is but another manifestation of the ongoing animosity between Mike and Wonka, and on that level it's appropriate. On the other hand, doesn't it kind of fly in the face of Mike's entire deal about not liking candy? To be totally fair, chocolate is the only candy product for which Mike explicitly professes to feel aversion; he technically never says anything about disliking boiled sweets, which (as per the novel) the boat was sculpted from. But the film makes it clear enough that he doesn't think much of Wonka's tooth-rotting junk in general - he calls candy a waste of time, and he doesn't find anything he's inclined to sample in the Chocolate Room, preferring to stomp repeatedly on a syrup-filled pumpkin. Despite surface impressions, it's really not the case that Mike '05 spends the entirety of the tour in a state of perpetual emotional detachment, refusing to get into the spirit of things; very occasionally, he does show flashes of awe and curiosity (such as when the tour passes over Fudge Mountain). He just isn't won over in the long-term. The bottom line with Mike is that he fundamentally doesn't see any use for candy, and that's how you can tell that his childhood essence is all broken and corrupted to the core. Or you know, maybe Mike is just wired differently, and there was seriously never anything wrong with that.

Nonetheless, he apparently couldn't resist the urge to lean over and put his tongue to the factory boat. So what are we to make of that? Is it some lingering, repressed sliver of childhood purity (as the film would have it) momentarily bubbling its way to the surface? Or was he just testing to see if the boat was, like most other items encountered in the Chocolate Room, a meticulously crafted sugar product? It's hard to say, without knowing if there was ever any additional context given. For all we know, the moment was cut because it was deemed inconsistent with Mike's characterisation elsewhere in the narrative. In addition, I would note that there's never any dialogue in the 2005 film explicitly establishing that the boat is made of candy - so unless this was also cut, it possibly just looked like Mike decided to randomly taste-test the side of a regular (if unusually pink) vessel.

Actually, this isn't the only thing going on in that TV spot that puzzles me. There's quite a bit of emphasis on the rivalry between Violet and Veruca, and while most of this was cobbled together from the scene where they ostensibly agree to become the best of friends, also included is a moment where Veruca appears to jerk Violet's hand into...something or other (admittedly, I can't find a high quality upload of this spot, so I can't say with absolute certainty what's happening there). This wasn't derived from anything in the final cut, where things never got any cattier than the distinct air of schadenfreude emitting from Veruca during Violet's blueberry experience. (The Violet/Veruca rivalry is, incidentally, one of these interesting adaptational traditions that wasn't even hinted at in the book but has been incorporated into just about every interpretation going forward - we see it in the 1971 film, the 2005 film and the 2013 stage musical. As with the specific nationalities ascribed the ticket winners, it's hard to say if that's a testament to the influence of the 1971 film or because it just seems so perfectly logical that these two girls would be unable to stand one another the instant they make eye contact.) I note that likewise, in the theatrical cut, they don't hold hands during their feigned profession of friendship (rather, they link arms), implying that this particular footage came from an alternate version or a separate moment of interaction that was excised altogether. And while Violet and Veruca basically ignore one another during the entire episode in Chocolate Room, there suddenly seems to be renewed tension brewing between them in the Inventing Room, making me wonder if something more happened that we didn't get to see. If so, then I have a hunch it would have occurred right after the moment where Violet likens the gobstoppers to chewing gum and Wonka rebuffs her comparison, prompting Ms Beauregarde to give Violet this disapproving look indicating that she may have damaged her prospects of winning the grand prize. All the while, Veruca is seen shooting Violet these intent sideways glances, as though she's planning something, before she and Violet walk off together. The two of them are then seen regarding one another with mutual leeriness, as Wonka is weirding Mike out with his cringy attempt at beatnik speak. I can certainly buy that there was some additional nastiness that went down in between.

Alas, to my knowledge, no home media release to date has brought clarity to either one of these mysteries. There were a small number of scenes (emphasis on small) deleted from the theatrical version that were later restored for the Blu-ray release, giving us an extended cut of sorts (clocking in at about 30 seconds longer than the original), but Mike's boat-licking and Vercua and Violet's physical altercation were forced to remain on the cutting room floor. Here's what the Blu-ray did see fit to dredge up from obscurity-ville:

  • An exchange between Mr Teavee and Mr Salt as the tour is commencing ("Is it just me or does Wonka seem a few quarters short of a buck?" "I'm sorry, I don't speak American."). No idea why this was ever removed - it's a funny snippet of dialogue, Godley and Fox's delivery is great and it's nice to have some proper verbal interaction between the parents, something the film could have made a whole lot more of. I've previously accused the Burton film of lacking fun, and while that's true for a lot of the pivotal set-pieces, where I reckon it does succeed is in the smaller moments of character interaction and unspoken tensions between its supporting cast - something you really want to play into in a story such this, which hinges on bringing together this motley ensemble of archetypes (for my money, the most authentically humorous moment is when the winners are waiting outside the factory gates and the bad nut clans are all uneasily sizing one another up). Mr Salt being a highly successful businessman, I find it hard to believe that he doesn't have some basic understanding of international currency (unless he's just unfamiliar with that metaphor in general?), so I guess the implication is that he's brushing Mr Teavee off because he considers himself above the Coloradan geography teacher. Appropriate, since it foreshadows how Mr Teavee's offspring will be regarded by Wonka for the upcoming 50 minutes.
  • Mike telling the Oompa Loompas to "Back off, you little freaks!" as they advance on the group in the Chocolate Room. Actually, I could've sworn this moment was in the theatrical cut I saw back in 2005, but maybe I'm getting confused because it was in the trailer, which I must have seen a hundred times in the day.
  • The Oompa Loompas' song about Augustus has a few additional lines.
  • One of the Oompa Loompas plays a keyboard during the song about Violet.
     
That's it, but blatantly there was more they could have put in. C'mon Burton, what are you hiding here?

Finally, a remnant of Mike's boat-licking actually DOES survive in the finished cut, but you'll have to look closely to see it. During the shot where Charlie his helping Grandpa Joe climb aboard, Mike is initially obscured, but when Joe steps downward, if you look between him and Charlie (and behind Ms Beauregarde), you'll catch a brief glimpse of Mike with his face down against the side of the boat. For reference, it's at 1:12 in the video below.

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