Sunday 19 January 2020

The World's Most Horrifying Advertising Animals #21: Roller Pandas (Kit Kat)


This ad, which appeared as part of the long-running "Have a Break, Have a Kit Kat" campaign in 1989, is one that I can remember people raving about long before I had the chance to see it for myself. For a while, I was aware that there was this ad making the rounds in which a photographer was patiently waiting beside a zoo enclosure to take a picture of two pandas who are keeping well out of sight, only for them to appear in a dramatic fashion when he turns his back for some inopportune chocolate indulgence. People talked a lot about this ad, and how hilarious it was, and yet for a while it never seemed to show up in any ad break I was watching. Like the protagonist of the ad in question, I waited for a seeming eternity, although in my case my patience eventually did pay off. I finally saw the much-hyped panda ad, and to my four-year-old psyche it seemed more nightmarish than funny - which had less to do with the jerky costumed figures portraying the pandas than it did the implication that these bamboo-biting bums were deliberately toying with the photographer. The suggestion that these bears were conspiring (literally) behind the back of this unsuspecting chocolate-lover struck me as deeply sinister (and yes, they are doing it on purpose - in the Ukrainian version below, which is the best quality upload I could find on YouTube, you can make out the knowing glint in their hard plastic eyes.) Added to which, we have the closing implication that this man could potentially be stranded in the same position for all eternity. The moment he's been holding out for has already been and gone; he was robbed of the breathtaking sight of two giant pandas - a notoriously solitary species - pulling off a perfectly choreographed dance on roller-blades, and all because he got side-tracked by the temptations of a chocolate-coated wafer.

It is curious, in terms of the narrative of the ad, that it's the protagonist's weakness for the product being hawked that prevents him from achieving his objective. The slogan instructs us to, "Have a Break, Have a Kit Kat", yet it's clear if we pick the wrong moment in which to withdraw from the action, we risk missing out on something big. Having a Kit Kat is shown to be as perilous, in a more subtle way, as eating a Quaker Harvest bar and risking attack from ravenous squirrels. But maybe the implicit narrative is a bit more complex - keep in mind that those pandas wouldn't have emerged at all if he hadn't decided tot take time out to consume a Kit Kat. So it was always futile. In momentarily detaching himself from his fruitless pursuit, the photographer gets to enjoy a few brief moments of sensual pleasure before recommitting himself to the inertia - in other words, the Kit Kat represents a reprieve, a short moment of fulfillment before he is lured back to his eternal stasis. Clearly, this man isn't going to be walking away from that enclosure any time soon, with or without a panda snap in hand, and the Kit Kat at least gave him a taste of something. The ad thus celebrates the break itself as the meaningful part of life; the obvious futility of the protagonist's endeavor, meanwhile, is underscored comically through the absurd sight of those rollerskating pandas, inferring that whatever you feel obligated to be doing in between is, by comparison, misspent energy.

I might have been troubled by the pandas' mockery as a small child, but as an adult I must admit that my sympathy leans more toward their side. I mean, try looking at this whole scenario from their perspective; if for, whatever reason, they have an aversion to having their image captured by this photographer, then that's their business entirely. As such, they're trapped in their den, also watching and waiting for their unwelcome spectator either to go away or at least turn around for long enough that they get a fleeting burst of freedom. So when that opportunity arises, of course they're going to grab it and live it to the full. The pandas thus owe their break to the Kit Kat, even if it is their nemesis who actually devours it - their frenzied roller dance constitutes their own pause from the inertia, before they inevitably must retreat back to their hideaway and the stalemate resumes, with neither party showing any prospect of yielding. Perhaps there is another implicit narrative to be gleaned from this set-up - the Powers That Be are constantly surveilling, waiting to trap our souls in their dreaded boxes. All we can do, like the pandas, is watch back. Be vigilant, and the time will come, while they're distracted with their carnal urges, for us to get out there and dance at their expense.

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